My Longest Drive
Jeanine Abell

It was only three days before my high school senior prom and I was not even at my home enjoying the week. Instead I was in Maryland on one of the saddest days of my life. As I walked out the doors of the St. Mary’s church early that afternoon, I thought about the events of the day that were about to unfold. My grandmother who had been there for my whole life, was now dead and we had to go to the graveyard to bury her and say a final goodbye. She had been sick for a long time and we all had known that this moment was coming. Even so, I was not ready for the final parting, and I do not really think that anyone ever is. Stepping outside, I looked around and thought about how the rest of the world would just continue to go on like usual.

Moving and fast-paced,
As the world keeps on moving,
Mine comes to a halt.

I didn’t really know where I was going, so I just followed my older cousins into the numerous cars that were all lined up for us. As all forty of us climbed into vehicles to make our way to my grandmother’s gravesite, it occurred to me how massive, but also how close, a family we really were. Once in the cars, the small talk, at least for me, was way too awkward and forced, so I tried to stay out of it as best I could. All I wanted to was to get away but there was obviously no escape so I did the next best thing— just looked out the tinted window. Once we had begun moving, I saw the police escort that we were being given because the funeral party was so large and my uncle’s fellow officers felt a sense of kind obligation to do such an act. All the passing people who were still able to continue on with their daily lives were forced to stop and take a break from their busy schedules to show a little respect for the rest of us who did not have the same luxury.

The flashing blue lights
Attracting attention but
Also frustration.

At that time my focus was turned away from the destination of my journey and turned toward what I thought to be the most disrespectful driver and person in a green minivan. On any other day, he would not have stood out to me, but on this one day he had refused to acknowledge the funeral line and just drove on. All I felt was anger. He had no idea what I was dealing with and all he seemed to care about was himself as he stared straight ahead. I hoped somehow someone would stop him because he was the only object I could really think about at that moment, and I was getting more and more annoyed. However, as he was right outside my depressing, packed car, he was mainly the only thing that I thought about during this time.

One single driver,
Who utterly refuse to yield
Drove along the way.

Looking back on it now, I believe that in some way I envied him because his life was the same and he could keep going on with his everyday business, unlike the me and the rest of my family. As the view of him was lost as he turned on a random side road, my focus was brought back inside the car when my innocent, blond-headed, three-year-old cousin suddenly asked when we were going to see my grandmother again. And my speechless uncle had to explain in what would seem as an everyday tone of voice to his son why the answer was never.

Unwanted question,
uncomfortable tension
made by three-year old.

Without realizing that I had once again become lost within my own thoughts, I had to come rushing back to this reality as the car at last slowed down. We had reached the end of the road and the last step in the funeral. As we arrived at the site, and my family began emerging from the shelter of the cars into the bright light onto the freshly cut grass, I just kept thinking about everyone in my family and wondering how this would affect each one of them. Standing there with the beautiful flower arrangements, I was very surprised that the funeral went so quick, but I was somewhat glad to leave behind the sad scene, although the thought made me feel guilty, as if I was happy about leaving behind my grandmother. Afterwards, my whole family got together at one of the large houses like we normally do, which was sad of course but at the same time surprisingly uplifting. I was able to find that my cousin Brian actually also had a guilty feeling about how the whole situation had been played out. Just being able to sit around, eat a little food, and talk to someone me realize that although we had just lost a huge part of our family, we all still had the rest of us to lean upon.

A wind-beaten tree:
When one of the branches breaks,
The rest still stand strong.

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